I recently posted about cutting down my working hours to 3 days as a teacher. The rubber has really hit the road now and we need to make some tough calls in relation to our budgets.
One massive cost that appears on the budget is presents. I worked out that just in my family alone there are 39 birthdays, mother’s day, father’s day and Christmas presents to be bought. Our family figured out that roughly $40-$50 per gift seemed about right.
Add to this friend’s birthdays, engagements, weddings, christenings, sympathy gifts, thank you gifts and $2,500 to $3,000 seems like a reasonable annual estimate. This is no longer sustainable for us as a family nor is it an effective use of our money.
Does this conversation ever happen to you?
You: “Hey. I realise your birthday is coming up and I’d like to get you something. What would you like?”
Them: “Umm… I’m not sure.”
You: “A shirt, DVD, book, CD, shorts?”
Them: “Hmmm. How about cash or a gift card at XYZ store?”
You: “Okay.” [Sigh]
Cash and gift cards, while useful just seem incredibly impersonal and our finances cannot sustain that amount per present anymore. It also doesn’t allow to use wisdom and research in your gift giving. I love buying an expensive gift on sale and wowing the person with something that might actually be useful to them.
First step I’m thinking will be to lower the amount spent per gift. I’m happy to eat humble pie and say “We have allocated most of our income towards investments. We have cut down our hours to spend more time with our family and we love you, but, we may need to be more creative with our gift giving.”
I think we will next think about giving gifts that build the relationship and affirm the person. The amount of times I’ve scratched something meaningless on a card and whacked $50 in the envelope is innumerable.
Perhaps a better gift and a more affordable one would be something that we have invested time into creating. Pinterest here I come! Another potential idea will be to invite the person to dinner, or take them out somewhere special. Quality time instead of dollars.
If you have any ideas for what you do, I’d love to hear them.
The Birthday Present Dilemma
July 31st, 2015 at 10:57 am
July 31st, 2015 at 11:08 am 1438340934
I'd prefer books or just some souvenirs over cash anyway.
July 31st, 2015 at 12:12 pm 1438344752
July 31st, 2015 at 12:20 pm 1438345241
July 31st, 2015 at 12:34 pm 1438346079
July 31st, 2015 at 01:33 pm 1438349637
I share though because if you start bringing it up maybe you will find some like-minded people and can lower the expense. I am sure we significantly dropped gifts when we had kids and cut our income in half. Before that point I hadn't given it much thought.
I still buy gifts on occasion when I find that *perfect* gift, but love it more without all that obligation. After many years of this, this last year was just *freaky*. I found the most amazing gift the month or so before our anniversary. My spouse and I both bought each other some more expensive gifts though we hadn't discussed it and it had probably been years since we had bought each other *anything* for our anniversary. But we both had spotted the *perfect* gift! I also saw something perfect for a friend and gave it to her when we eventually met up (maybe months later?). She had a gift for me too. It wasn't even any holiday or occasion. Apparently I have entered the psychic gift exchange realm.
One of the best gifts I gave lately was a senior national park pass. IT costs $10 and you will get you into the National Parks for the rest of your life. Start thinking more about value versus cost.
July 31st, 2015 at 04:01 pm 1438358509
July 31st, 2015 at 04:16 pm 1438359386
I only buy gifts now if I see something and I know someone will love it. and I don't even wait for the birthday or holiday (unless it is close). If I see something my sister will love and its July I just get it and send it to her. It makes it more special when its out of the blue like that. I send her something in May that she loved and her birthday is next month...I doubt I will be sending her something unless I come across a great gift by chance. Do adults need/want gifts?
July 31st, 2015 at 08:22 pm 1438374176
We are friends with a couple and it had become a problem with gifts...it seemed like every time there was a gift, they were trying to give us something bigger and better. I know that this couple really couldn't afford it and I suggested the same thing...just give a nice card and if we go out for a birthday, everyone pays for themselves.
Most reasonable people will understanding you need to cut back.
July 31st, 2015 at 11:26 pm 1438385174
Like you said, Pintrest has endless projects but you need a huge donation of time and love.
August 1st, 2015 at 12:16 am 1438388172
August 1st, 2015 at 05:48 am 1438408127
It seems like quite a few of the SavingAdvice community like the 'make a present' idea. Because I have a 6 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old we sometimes stockpile clearance toys for those particular age groups for the inevitable friends birthday parties.
Things have gotten a little out of control though with rampant consumerism with the spending on gifts going up and and up in my opinion.
Snafu and My English Castle, I really like those ideas. I wouldn't ordinarily have the time for that, but my recent resignation from 2 days employment might allow me to try my culinary and horticultural skills.
We sometimes get our kids to make the wrapping paper by getting them to decorate butcher's paper. The grandparents love it! Hand made cards are also a standout compared to the Hallmark variety.
I really appreciate the ideas. They're fabulous!